Flags, Flares, & Flowers

A game of intentional signals

flag

Play a FLAG
when you feel
CONFLICT

Just as an Ultimate Piffleball referee might throw a FLAG on the play, or the Editor of the Long Night Times might FLAG a passage that needs revision, we all throw FLAGS when something seems to be not quite right. Something needs attention!

TIPS FOR SKILLFUL PLAY
~ Playing a flag can be tricky. Flags work best when you can play one like the ref or the editor — not out of acrimony or resentment but, instead, out of a genuine desire for things to be fully in tune with themselves.

~ Flag effectiveness is magnified when the person you’re playing with is AWARE what playing a flag means. Better yet, you have agreed together on a protocol for playing.

~ Speak for yourself. If you find yourself saying to someone, “You need to get the dragon cleaned,” or even “I need you to get the dragon cleaned,” try to get in touch with your own feelings behind that need. “I can feel myself feeling tired and resentful and like I’m about to be a real jerk. The dragon is filthy and is getting soot everywhere and I would just clean it myself but with all the other stuff going on I am out of juice. Do you have any bandwidth to clean the dragon?”

Play a FLARE
when you feel
NEED

Umm... little help here?

When your zebra breaks down, or your boat springs a leak in the middle of the Jarpian Ocean, it’s time to send up a FLARE.

BEING ABLE & WILLING TO ASK FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT IS A SUPERPOWER

~ It gives other people a golden feeling in their chest that they, too, can ask for help when THEY need it.

~ It helps others trust you and see you as MORE capable, because they see that you care more about doing something well than about being seen as invincible. I mean, come on, not even the ruby-throated ultraoctopus is good at EVERYTHING.

~ It allows others the satisfaction of contributing. Everyone stands a little taller/stretches a little longer when they know that someone else values their competence.

~ It means you learn, grow, and don’t burn out from over-exerting.

~ Often, getting help or input from others leads to a better, stronger outcome than if you did it all yourself… not to mention the pleasure of connecting with another person in service to something important.

flower

Play a FLOWER
when you feel
APPRECIATION

Raccoons sharing popsicles and thanking each other for helping with the garbage

Playing a flower is always a fun move. Showing gratitude to someone who’s improved your mood, your day, or your life can quickly become your favorite habit.

ENJOY RECEIVING FLOWERS AS WELL AS GIVING THEM
~ Are you great at giving other people flowers, but less good at accepting them yourself? When someone gives you flowers, do you say things like, “These are beautiful, but you shouldn’t have. I didn’t really do anything. I’m not that great. I’m kinda lame, actually.” Instead, try saying, “Thank you so much!” and nothing else! Your pleasurable receipt of the gift or compliment will feel good to the giver, as well as to you.

~ Remember to give YOURSELF flowers, too.

~ Thanks for reading this whole email, and for being a supporter of Long Night Games. We can’t tell you how much it means to know you’re out there. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

how do YOU play
Flags, Flares, & Flowers?

Flags, Flares, & Flowers was released during the Waning Crescent Moon, March 2021